Friday, March 18, 2011

Family Worth Celebrating

 How important is your Family to you?

There is no love like the attachment bond from a mother and father... your first fight or argument with a sibling... an ever giving grandparent or doting uncles and aunts... not forgetting the hairy, smelly friend for life pet dog or cat and scaly for all the amphibian lovers out there (if i missed any other you could comment below and talk about your pet too...

Families can be a handful and literally is when issues of the heart are not resolved. My family has its fair share of both the highs and lows and I believe the lesson always at the end can be applied to an OTB phenomenon that takes place after a long time after the problem subsides.....

Nancy Smith talked on about Parenting with a Heart at Peace not too long ago where one point that hit hard on me was the importance about children and seeing past their mistakes.... one point that really reached out to me was what Amber mentioned about an Arbinger's Principle on teaching/ intervening  let me see if I can summarize this point " Each child in my care is more precious than life itself. Some of the greatness in my child are obvious and however some is not. I must look for it. But to look and find for the greatness is in all even as in seeing them as people.... I want to be helpful to them and in this moment that they come to learn that I care."

Heather's story on the son whom called his mother to come an pick him up as he was drunk-- it is in Parenting that one tends to fail to learn, see and feel concern towards that child... But the power of  seeing beyond that (blind mode) is tapping into their greatness and remember however difficult the situation is... 

Another thing that always seem to amazes me all the time is how allies are quickly assembled within the family...Does this also happen with you? It is interesting huh...  For instance; allies between sisters to brothers vice versa and so forth...

When we talk about this concept of Justification and Self-Betrayal I think we know better of ourselves... In building our allies what we are truly engaging is deepening our justifications and betrayal... Naturally why we do that is to invite the very similar behaviors from the rest so as to keep building on the allies- justification and more self-betrayal...  Because we are so blinded in this notion as a family no one is safe, eveyone plays the hide and seek game awaiting for the boxes to explode...

It seems all too real... but the sufferings are immense.. I've heard from Senthiyl that the biggest ongoing war can only be the fighting in any family... and so it seems simply true.

Carry Boxes: 
Yet another symptom that seems to linger within families is the Carry-box phenomenon.

"Others may not change when you change" True, But in the responsive way of being I am not offended when they don't I am ceasing to blame others because it is the right thing to do for them-- not because of what I want them to do for me."

Because in the box, we only provoke others to get in the box as well, and the mistreatment we then get from others gives us justification for staying in the box--- the Question is whether it is all Worth it?

Think about you views and experiences regarding your family--- something that always draws you a bit closer, a bit more caring and a bit more connected... Share your views here- is your family worth celebrating

I celebrate my wonderful family and the cherishing moments of what we always share.  Here's a recent picture of all of us celebrating my uncles' 50th birthday at the Singapore Cricket Club.

Not sure if you can find me I'm in an orange sari and beside this tall cousin of mine in a beige dress.

My uncle receiving the Durai Awards - which we tried to follow the Oscars

And the Award Goes to......

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