Friday, February 10, 2012

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Lighten Your Day

 Lighten Your day

" We are at your happiest when we are out of the BOX!" In just changing our Way of Being we are open to experience the happiness, freedom and choice we have on

Many of us know that the secret to self-betrayal is just that, but some of us still fall resistant to our senses...many times making our days are heavier than the usual...

Read on to find out what a leader said to lighten his staff's day...

This was a 30 second Speech by Bryan Dyson (CEO of Coca Cola)

"Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the
                           air. You name them -
                                and Spirit
                and you're keeping all of these in the Air.

You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back.

But the other four Balls - Family, Health, Friends and Spirit - are made of
glass. If you drop one of these; they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked,
nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must
                    understand that and strive for it."


Thursday, June 30, 2011

Reframing Mindsets

The first of every year marks a traditional milestone for re-framing as people make new years resolutions based upon parts of themselves or aspects of their lives that they wish to improve. These resolutions may include losing weight, finding a better way to improve grades, continuing education, improving free throw shooting and so on.

The new year resolutions are often met with initial excitement that inspires behavior towards the goals and the beginning of change. However as time persist the reason for change loses priority or the motivation for the change becomes weak or perhaps the change did not appear to be occurring fast enough and subsequently the person gave up. Re-framing may be a continuous process that includes factors such as commitment, strategy, action, contemplation, and maintenance. 

Just as you and I experience struggles and challenges in meeting their potential people do as well. Maslow’s theory of self actualization proposes that people are internally motivated to realize their potential with continued growth. Therefore, it is likely that people have a vision of what type of person they would like to be and what kind of life they wish to live. When there is a disparity between where people aspire to be and where they a n inner drive should inspire a need for change to engage in behavior that would yield desired results.

The Yo-Yo effect,Stress, Confusion, Misguidance, Poor relations are all too familiar troubling factors that schools and teachers face in light of their student's behaviors.
Behavior with Mindset

Many of the students are involved in behaviors that will eventually lead to trouble with the police, families, employers, or educational facilities; or will cause them harm. When they begin to live a lifestyle that does not agree with cultural norms (i.e., drug use, violence, and missing school) they are normally in the precontemplation phase; "minimizing the need for change" and "far from ready to change". When they begin to face discipline issues because of their actions they enter the contemplation phase, becoming more aware of their behavior.

During the preparation phase the young adults may begin to understand they have a more serious problem in their life than they were initially willing to admit to and become interested in ways to change their life. 
The action stage would be where the intensive confusions in lives occur, when they are taking observable action to change their life. 

Maintenance is the primary stage where teachers and counselors are seen to intervene and assist students with preventing relapse. However, the outcome hoped for by Arbinger is not termination of negative behaviors but evaluating the negative -root of the problem that is causing the behavior in the first place. However, many students will recycle through the first five stages during their enrollment without ever being successful and this should be something that is expected. 

When the student arrive at the behavior level- they can be held in hands and thoughts to moving into making the responsive choices they can make at this stage. While in school, their evolution through the cycle has an impact on the community. Like guides, the teacher need to understand where a student is in their lives so they can work with them to make improvements in their behavior. 

Creating an uplifting vision or strategy

An individual may not realize there is a need for change or reframing. This is usually the case when people are used to doing things one way, there can be a lack of understanding and accepting that change is needed. The stage of denial as Linney, B. J. (1999) describes it, is more relevant to change in the behavior, but the relation of denial and personal change is very relative to how the personal change may affect future changes from being implemented within the heart.  One may say that this brings to the attention that change is “threatening both time-honored traditions and prevailing cultural values and practices.

On the contrary, I have observed that one of the best avenues of reframing mindset is in uplifting specific awareness.... such a target that creates visions that a person can imagine and aspire towards such crossing the tape of the cross-country marathon. The vision promotes strategic thinking of how to accomplish the feat such as a workout plan and schedule, hiring a trainer, and or eliminating fried foods from diet. For example, students who are in the contemplation phase who are showing increased signs of manipulation or in Arbinger language we say- sinking beneath - there is dire need to assess the students readiness to change and give the support and guidelines to frame.


How might aspects of your personality or your various skills and abilities have played a part in the success or difficulty of the change?

Thursday, June 23, 2011


Spoiler alert! If you want to see "The Adjustment Bureau" with Matt Damon, do not read further !!!!!

Last night I rented "The Adjustment Bureau" with Matt Damon. Great movie by the way (5 stars).

In it, he plays an up and coming politician who has deviated from the "plan" which he was supposed to be on. This so called "plan" was created by the "Chairman" who, we are led to believe, is non other than God herself. In any event, "The Bureau" is a band of people who work for the "Chairman" and are entrusted with keeping people "on plan." For example, if the plan calls for us to marry Tony, then the Bureau ensures that we don't miss the bus where we are supposed to meet Tony - our future life partner.

The reason they manipulate our lives is because when we have been given the opportunity to write our own plans, we have screwed up (e.g. WWI, WWII).

Why do we screw up? Because of our failing in honoring our senses, that's why! 

We are, the movie depicts, as impulsive animals by nature. Accordingly, we are incapable of harnessing our passions and as a result of our impulsiveness and hubris, make many, many mistakes.

The Bureau, afraid that one day we will screw up so badly that even they could not undo the damage we may one day cause (i.e. ending life as we know it), have decided to take away our free will and instead, only given us the semblance of it.

As I was watching the movie I felt the movie was trying to validate the point to standing by to what we know as making things go Right for others and could anticipate the notion  “Fail to honor the choice and it fails to honor you.” Corresponding with this identification of the true source of power in any organization, successful politicking or hurt within families can be based on the ability to be untangled from complications when honoring ones' choices by addressing them.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

A Note to Pain

Pain hurts especially when I'm trapped in my Box.

Pain breaks us ( family, friends and relationships) into two. Pain kills us a little everyday and there’s nothing we can do. Pain shapes us, transforms us into people we thought we’d never be or sometimes people we always wanted to be.

Pain seeps into our lives suddenly, when we least expect it. Pain tricks us into thinking that we can’t take it anymore or that our skin isn’t thick enough to endure it.

Pain cuts through us like a butcher’s knife and we let it. We feed our pain. We listen to sad songs, hold on to memories, watch depressing movies and run towards pain knowing that this is how it’ll all end; tears, sleepless nights, and scars we bury deep. Death, a lost love, distance, abandonment, and a lot more bring us to our knees praying to have the strength to get up again.

After every blow we take, we promise ourselves we’d never give in to the pain again, but as the days go by and as we meet more beautiful people, experience life further, and choose to become who we are today, we risk getting hurt. We risk being vulnerable, we risk inflicting pain on ourselves but then again we talk ourselves into it like we can handle the consequences. Like we’re superman, pain is nothing to us. Like regrets don’t exist and like scars are teachers in disguise.

Like a little kid learning to ride a bike, falling down and getting up again till they get it right, pain pushes us forward; pain makes us appreciate peace of mind.

Pain makes us appreciate wholeness of the heart, pain makes us appreciate our lives and it makes us appreciate ourselves for getting out of every painful experience whole again. Even when we’re missing a piece, we tell ourselves that this was meant to be, that pain was destined to happen, that pain taught us a lesson we had to learn the hard way!

Dear Pain, Hurt and Grieve,

Thank you for making me the beautiful person that I am. Thank you for teaching me everything I know. Thank you for showing me that my Red Flags are alerting my in-the-box momements. Thank you for turning my weaknesses into strengths, my precious moments into memories, my heart into a beating drum, my eyes into a well, and my body into a castle that holds a wealth of stories on every corner.

Right now, all I can do is kiss you goodbye, because what I'm sure of is that from out the box, you are my strength to making a choice I need to make.

Broken down, but getting up again!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Undercover Boxes

I cant' help but watch the entire series of the undercover boss, and if you have not, I encourage you to do so- its so exemplary of what sense a boss has to take maybe even for that point of moment/situation after filling in the shoes as an employee in his own company.

The Undercover Boss is a television franchise series that has been released in multiple countries, originating in 2009 on the British Companies. The show’s format is based on a senior executive of a company working undercover in their own firm to investigate how the company really works and identify how it can be improved, as well as rewarding the hard working staff.

An Amazing experiment I hoped to do an undercover with my boxes...

Undercover boxes can be very tricky to approach- its almost as we are in the center of a whirlpool not wanting to be suck into it. However, upon survival, it is most helpful in acknowledging our Red Flags, because in any situation or person we have some of our repetitive characteristics playing up that can help us to keep noticing our boxes that are erupting...

I tried the game of the undercover boxes just two day back, purposefully and carefully keeping a full surveillance over my feelings, how I sounded and what my actions were being in the box not wanting to come out- I bet many of you have tried this, knowing the consequences...

But amazingly I found how just playing the cover had put such control in my hands towards others. Not because I knew that my need to honor grew stronger in the process or anything but the importance of just understanding where I sometimes just go blinded by the various situations that may cause those better than or worse than boxes to validate myself.

Again the truth is that in seeing and truly being able to sense what another may require is a gift to be cherished. Where in moments I had the sense but just controlled that desire to go and help my grandmother pick up her spectacles on the floor just blew my cover eventually... however I guess its almost a test to how long you can see yourself possibly staying out of the box at any situation.

 Have you played the undercover Box?


Thursday, April 28, 2011

Arbinger Likes & Dislikes

Fun ways of expressing Arbinger...

There are just so many great ways of FUN liberated through Arbinger's ning community...
My personal best are (in no particular order at all):

1. Weekly Questions that ponders our experiences and allows us to share just a bit of who we are and how sometimes we are not getting an answer and then ta-dah' - the box is lessened...
Sarah I believe this is on everyone's mind and that is to  congratulate you over your great work over the weekly though provoking questions... Heather must be really proud with what is happening over with the ning....

2. Blogs by the various people in the Community. I recently saw how Sherri's Blog on The Courage in Honoring a Sense  and am so happy for what it allowed her to take steps into creating a manifesto for us to open thoughts to our honoring of a sense and I kindly invite all on her behalf to visit this link to her blog to do this -

Another blogger who will always be my guide and inspiration to when I first began my baby bloggy steps was Cossie...  I still recall how Cossie's Food for thought had driven me a purpose... almost on a clear mission to help liven our stories into blogs-- he's blogs such as Blind Side, What Counts & many many more are just really thought provoking and brings justice to all the work he does...

3. Arbinger Humor Box Group- I am guilty- I don't often visit my group of buddies here but just love the crakkers that goes on with Russ and the gang...
I particularly laughed off my seat with our new mascot... Poorrrrr Strider (He's now added to my collection screensaver with tiger and tissue- mia doggies...)

4. Global Community Call--- Community calls are my favorite favorite of all... its real-time action and its just so exhilarating to just hear... The voices of our members not only provide us with their experiences but also mostly listening to the successes, failures, happiness or pains that others share on the line is what makes this entire body of Arbinger a fruitful one.. What delight with other facilitators and consultants of Arbinger have to humbly share with us churns out the meaningful nature for a far more vibrant OTB place to tune out with...

Sharing one last of my Likes of Likes this month.... ( or maybe last month's)

Experience of a lifetime for the facilitator course 4th April 2011.

The Facilitator Training with all our practices in the charts behind and beside us. This was the final day of facilitator practice or a long week of buffet lunches, extreme challenges and the joy& passion of Arbinger's work...

THE Journey doesnt' end HERE....

Bryan (left), Shee Wei, Adeline, Justin, Senthiyl and Shanu (right)

We hope to explore our wonderful Arbinger journey with a spectacle that keeps us grounded and open to learning and enjoying life more....

Now what are my dislikes.... that is the toughest point I haven't yet to come by and when I do, I will head to this post as you should and write it down as a comment....

Do share your Likes and Dislikes with us too!